A Choice to Rest

Sitting in the corner of his older brother’s bed, our toddler screams uncertain why he even cries. It is nap time, but the exhaustion has washed over his tiny body like a tidal wave before we reach a place of shelter. By the time we reached his bedroom, it was already too late. No blanket will suffice. Snuggles seem insufficient. Treasured books get cast aside in a fit of irrational rage. Even “Chicken”, his nighttime stuffed buddy, barely brings relief.

He pushed too hard. Anger seems like the only emotion that he knows how to articulate, so he fights. Pulling away from my arms which only offer rest, he hides in the corner until his body weight gives way. Succumbing to fatigue, he falls gently onto Chicken. A stubborn scowl remains on his face as his legs nestle into the crack between the wall and the mattress. His eyes finally close.

I know this fight all too well. I know what it feels like to have pushed so hard that exhaustion muddles my ability to think, feel, or function in what others would consider a rational manner. The schedule remains too full for too long. The list of items added to my to-dos far outpaces my ability to cross them off. A season of difficulty lingers despite my prayers for it to conclude. Sometimes the pace is within our control, but we chose to push faster or harder before we realize we’re out of fuel. Other times the season is not of our choosing and instead propels us forward on a track that we wish we could get off, but the train just won’t stop. Regardless of how we find ourselves in this place of exhaustion, we have a choice.

Like my son, we can kick and scream until we find ourselves lodged in a corner unable to fight any longer.

Or we can be a little more proactive about the problem.

David often wrote in the Psalms about “how his spirit grows faint within” (Ps. 142:3) In his case, he had physical enemies who were hunting him down and seeking to destroy him. We may not be fighting such a visible enemy, but I can relate to the faint spirit and a heart that is dismayed (Psalm 143:4).

In today’s culture, our enemy may disguise himself with busyness, striving, over packed schedules, or material success. We may be attacked by seasons of illness, betrayal, loneliness, grief, or despair. The obstacles before us may seem so insurmountable that anger, irrational reactions, and emotional decisions flow out of us like a toddler refusing a nap.

We focus on our failures and fast tracks and fail to focus on the One who works in our weakness. We cling to control and forget to cry out to the only One who can calm the storm. We work so hard to fill our lives with the things of this world that we fail to fill up with the Word.

But just like David, who in the Psalms confesses his weakness, we can do the same. We can follow his example and find hope and rest even when our flesh falls short. Regardless of how tired, scared, or weak David felt he always knew where to seek refuge. When hiding in a cave, he clings to the truth that it is God “who watches over his ways.” (Psalm 142: 3) He didn’t have to know the next step, the exit strategy, or the length of the battle, because he knew the One who fought for him, protected him, and laid his paths straight. He raised his voice in cries of fear, anger, and despair to the One who was capable of meeting his every need despite what his dire circumstances suggested. When the future was uncertain, David “remembers the days of long ago; meditates on all (God’s) works and considers what (God’s) hands have done.” He remembered God’s faithfulness. David shows us how to reflect on the faithfulness of the past to get through the difficulty of today .

By crying out, seeking refuge, and placing his future in the hands of His heavenly Father, David finds rest, hope, and a heart of praise even in the darkest cave.

As my son’s body gives way to sleep, my arms remain ready to cradle his weary body. My love never wavers even when his battle rages on. He knows I’ll be here when he wakes up just as I was yesterday and the day before. I’ll be here to listen, love, and hold him each step of the way.

I am so thankful the God of David does the same for me, because today and everyday I need the safety of my Father’s arms.